We are meant to live life together but most men don’t have transparent relationships with at least one other man. Pride and fear prevent us from going deep with one another. David and Jonathan are positive examples of two men who were accountable to each other and had fun together. This is a major reason why David lived a godly life. In contrast, Saul refused accountability with another man so he lived in isolation. Samuel tried, but pride derailed Saul and he paid the price as we observe in 1 Sam. 18.
Jonathan’s soul was knit to David’s. Because Jonathan loved him as himself, they made a covenant together. Jonathan gave his robe, armor, sword, bow and belt to David. He went wherever Saul sent him and acted wisely. He pleased everyone, including Saul’s servants (1 Sam. 18:1-5). A strong emotional and accountable relationship with another person strengthens your walk in truth.
When David returned from killing Goliath, women said, “Saul has slain his thousands but David his ten thousands.” After Saul became very angry with evil in his eyes, he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom.” He looked at David with suspicion from that day on (1 Sam. 18:6-9). First, believing a lie causes anger and distrust of others.
On the next day, an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul and he raved in midst of his house. David played the harp and Saul hurled a spear at him and escaped from his presence twice. Saul was afraid of David, for Lord was with him but had departed from Saul. He appointed David as commander of a thousand and dreaded him when he prospered greatly and people loved him (1 Sam. 18:10-16). Second, jealously of others’ prosperity causes an evil spirit to take control of your life.
Saul deceived David about his daughter becoming married to him. Saul wanted David to be killed by Philistines. Saul became even more afraid of David when he saw Lord was with him and Saul’s daughter loved him. Thus Saul was David’s enemy continually (1 Sam. 18:17-29). Third, deception, ill-will and fear lead to enmity, disgrace and unreconciled relationships.
Commanders of Philistines went out to battle and David behaved himself more wisely than all the servants of Saul. So his name was highly esteemed (1 Sam. 18:30). In contrast, accountable relationships lead to wisdom, esteem and reconciled relationships.
Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Don’t be a lone ranger. Find a person of the same sex who accepts you the way you are, but love you too much to allow you to stay the way you are. That’s true friendship.
Find a person to apply these four practical steps to make you accountable:
a. Vulnerability – the willingness to admit wrong
and to put yourself at risk.
b. Teachability – a willingness to learn.
c. Availability – a willingness to make your life
accessible.
d. Honesty – a commitment to truth and reality at
all costs
