“The loving and much loved wife is satisfied with the love of her husband; his smile is her joy, she cares little for any other. So, if you have come to Christ, thy Maker is thine husband – His free love to you is all you need, and all you can care for – there is no cloud between you and God – there is no veil between you and the Father; you have access to Him who is the fountain of happiness – what have you to do any more with idols? Oh! if your heart swims in the rays of God’s love, like a little mote swimming in the sunbeam, you will have no room in your heart for idols” (Robert Murray M’Cheyne).
Marriage was designed by God as a visual picture of how Christ as husband loves the church, His bride. Christ’s love motivates each of us to spend time with Him and our spouses. Two people come into a marriage as imperfect people with deep wounds from childhood. It takes prayer and loving communication initiated by the husband for both of them to leave their mother and father emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically to cleave to each other. Our loving and intimate marriage provide natural opportunities to share the gospel of Christ. Then we can follow Peter’s exhortation to “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Pet. 3:15).
For his love was more delightful than wine and his name like perfume poured out. Let us hurry so you can take me away. The king has brought me into his chambers. We rejoice, delight in you and praise your love more than wine. Do not stare at me because I am dark. My mother’s sons were angry with me so I had to care for vineyards. I neglected my own vineyard (Songs 1:1-7). Exalt in God’s love so couples are motivated to spend time together.
Graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds. I liken my darling to a mare harnessed to Pharaoh’s chariot. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings and neck with strings of jewels. My perfume spread its fragrance at the king’s table. My lover is like a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts and a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi. How beautiful you are, my darling. Your eyes are doves. How handsome and charming you are, my lover (Songs 1:8-17). Listen to God’s love to find your wife beautiful.
My darling is like a lily among thorns among the maidens. My lover is like an apple tree among the trees of the forest among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall and his banner over me is love. Strengthen and refresh me for I am faint with love. She charged the daughters of Jerusalem to not arouse love until it so desires. My lover said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.” Show me your lovely face and let me hear you sweet voice. Catch the little foxes that ruin the blooming vineyards. My lover is mine and I am his (Songs 2:1-17). Allow God’s love to strengthen and refresh your relationship with Him and in marriage.
I looked for the one my heart loves all night long on my bed. I searched for him through the city streets and squares even asking the watchmen if they had seen him. I found and held him without letting him go until I brought him to my mother’s house. Do not awaken love until it so desires. Look at Solomon’s carriage escorted by 60 warriors wearing the sword experienced in battle and prepared for the terrors of the night. King Solomon made the carriage of wood from Lebanon, posts of silver, base of gold, seat upholstered with purple and interior lovingly inlaid by the daughters of Jerusalem. Come out you daughters of Zion and look at King Solomon wearing the crown that his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding (Songs 3:1-11). Pray together to receive healing of childhood issues to you can cleave to one other in love, unity and intimacy.
How beautiful you are my darling as there is no flaw in you. Your veiled eyes are doves, hair like a flock of goats, teeth like a flock of sheep just shorn, lips like a scarlet ribbon, mouth is lovely, temples like the halves of a pomegranate, neck like the tower of David built with a 1,000 shields of warriors hanging on it and two breasts like two fawns browsing among the lilies. I will go to the mountain of myrrh and hill of incense. Come with me from Lebanon, lions’s dens and mountain haunts of the leopards, my bride. You stole my heart with one glance of your eyes and one jewel of your necklace. Your love is more pleasing than wine and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice. Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb with milk and honey under your tongue. Your are a garden locked up, spring enclosed and sealed fountain. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, myrrh and all the finest spices. You are a garden fountain and well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. Blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits (Songs 4:1-16). Communicate to your wife in visual language that she is beautiful without flaws so she can respond freely without reservations.
I came into my garden and gathered myrrh with spice, my sister and bride. Eat, O friends, and drink your fill, O lovers. I slept but my heart was awake listening for the knocking of my lover saying, “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one.” My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening. I arose to open it with my hands dripped with myrrh, but he was gone. As I looked for him, the watchmen of the walls beat and bruised me and took my cloak. She charged the daughters of Jerusalem to find and tell her lover that she is faint with love (Songs 5:1-8). Seek God and tell others that you love Him because He protects you from danger.
They asked how her beloved was better than others, She responded that her lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among 10,000. His head is purest gold with wavy, black hair, eyes like doves by the water streams washed in milk mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume, lips like lilies dripping with myrrh, arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite, body like polished ivory decorated with sapphires, legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold, his appearance like Lebanon choice as its cedars and his mouth is sweetness and altogether lovely. This is my lover and friend, daughters of Jerusalem (Songs 5:9-16). Explain articulately and specifically why you love God when others ask about your hope.
Consider the following process in creating a loving and intimate marriage:
1. Couples exalt in God’s love to motivate them to spend time together
2. Husbands listen to God’s love so He finds his wife beautiful
3. Couples allow God’s love to strengthen and refresh both their relationship with Him and marriage
4. Husbands lead in prayer so the couple receives healing from childhood issues and cleave to one other in love, unity and intimacy5. Husbands communicate in visual language to their wife that she is beautiful without flaws so she can respond freely without reservations
6. Seek God and tell others that you love Him because He protects you from danger
7. When others ask about your hope, explain articulately and specifically why you love God
