Building good relationships is complicated and challenging. Life becomes so frantic that we don’t take time to listen to our spouse in marriage or give focused attention to our children. God has made women and men different, not only physically, but in their emotional life. Men want respect. Women desire love. Women’s concern is the home and men’s focus is often the workplace, even if both spouses work. Navigating between different generations of parents and children bring their own set of issues. Parents see things more black and white.  Young people keep their options open and have a hard time committing to things.

What we believe or don’t believe about God influences our behavior and how we relate to people. Proverbs says our heart determines our life (Prov. 4:23). God had no regard for Cain’s grain offering, while Abel’s sacrifice of the first-born from his flock pleased Him (Gen. 4:3-5a). I believe Cain had a bad heart, not that he offered a grain offering. Cain’s unbelief led to anger. By asking Cain why he was angry and depressed, God wanted Cain to admit his problem, which was unbelief and lack of trust in Him (Gen. 4:6).

The best way to get people to face issues is to ask questions. Since Cain’s depression should have gotten his attention, God used a follow-up exhortation to motivate him to seek victory over his sin (Gen. 4:5b-7). Showing no remorse, Cain asked disgustedly, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen. 4:9). In other words, why should I be interested in relationships?

Isn’t God asking a similar question to us in the way we treat others? We can easily murder people with our lips by putting them down or being impatient and angry (Matt. 5:21-22). God doesn’t forget how we treat people since their voice is crying out to Him (Gen. 4:10).

When relationships get too tough or complicated, we can be like Cain and flee from God’s presence instead of facing the problem. A subtle way we escape from God is through accomplishments. Cain went out from the presence of the Lord and built a city where livestock, music and implements were developed (Gen. 4:16-17, 20-22).

In the midst of ruin, there is hope. After Seth’s son Enosh was born, men began to call upon the name of the Lord (Gen. 4:26). A 2-minute video will give you further encouragement to restore those broken relationships. 

Remember that God is most interested in the attitude of your heart, not outward actions. Cain’s unbelief displeased God. His anger and desire for sin led to his murder of Abel. The shedding of innocent blood brought the curse of unreconciled relationships. Without the fear of God, relationships tear apart. The curse not only affected families, but even affected agriculture through low yields from the ground (Gen. 4:12).

Let God scan your heart right now. What does He see? How is your heart affecting your speech? Confess your sin to God and call upon His help while claiming His forgiveness by faith!


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