The biggest obstacle for reconciliation of fractured relationships is selfishness. A husband and wife let bitterness build a wall between them so they won’t talk or allow anger to drive them apart. Hardened hearts cause selfishness and becomes the wedge to break up relationships, including marriages, families and churches. A peacemaker takes advantage of timing, integrity, compassion and communication in reconciling  fractured relationship as you saw with Joseph and his brothers (Gen. 43).  For reconciliation to occur, examine how his brothers took responsibility and grieved over their sin in addition to a broken and contrite spirit with compassion for others. It’s a model for you to follow in reconciling with broken relationships.

Offenders Take Responsibility for Sin
Joseph commanded his house steward to fill his brothers’ sacks with food and put his cup in Benjamin’s sack. Joseph told his house steward to follow and say to the men after catching up with them, “Why have you repaid evil for good? Is not this the one from which the lord drinks, and which he indeed uses for divination? You have done wrong in doing this?” (Gen. 44:1-5). Obedience tests lead unreconciled offenders to take responsibility for their sin.

Offenders Grieve Over Sin
Joseph’s brothers denied stealing the money from his house. The brothers agreed that he who was found with the money should be killed and the rest become slaves. Joseph said that the person who had the money would be his slave and rest innocent. The cup was found in Benjamin’s sack, they tore their clothes in grief and returned to the city (Gen. 44:6-13). Obedience tests motivate unreconciled offenders to grieve over sin. 

Offenders Have Broken and Contrite Spirit
Judah and his brothers fell to the ground before Joseph. He asked his brothers: “What is this deed that you have done? Do you not know that such a man as I can indeed practice divination?” Judah didn’t know what to say since he realized they couldn’t justify themselves because God knew their sin. Joseph said that Benjamin would be his slave and the other brothers were to “go up in peace to your father” (Gen. 44:14-17). Critical step in reconciliation of broken family relationships is offenders having a broken and contrite spirit.

Offenders Have Compassion for Others
Judah asked Joseph not to make Benjamin his slave. Grief over losing his beloved son would cause him to die. Judah argued that they fulfilled Joseph’s desire by bringing Benjamin back to him. If he didn’t return to his father, Jacob would see it as evil and blame Judah. He begged Joseph to let him remain in Egypt instead of Benjamin and said, “For how shall I go up to my father if the lad is not with me, lest I see the evil that would overtake my father?” (Gen. 44:18-34). Another critical step in reconciliation of broken family relationships is offenders having compassion for others instead of being selfish.

Answer the following questions regarding an unreconciled relationship that you face: 
1. Have you taken responsibility for your sin?
2. Have you grieved over your sin?
3. Do you have a broken and contrite spirit?
4. Do you have compassion for others?


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